Maintaining children behavior management specialistcan often be difficult since it seems a child's behavior changes on a daily basis or even in the blink of an eye. Where I and many other parents make the mistake is that often a child's behavior has not changed at all from day to day. In fact it is often the situation currently impacting the parent which helps to drastically change the way they see the behavior of children. One parental error which has been brought to light by the insight of parent-child communication specialist Laura Fobler can be seen with the impact of parental perspective.
On some days I viewed my children behavior management specialist as successful as I enjoyed the company of my children and we had a fun day. We would laugh most the day, enjoying a wide variety of activities which entertained all of us. From my perspective my children were behaving wonderfully as they got along with each other and often responded positively to any directions I provided. On these days I was often in a good mood, with positive feelings and a well-rested body. Fobler would note that my positive outlook helped me to look positively at my children and the actions they took.
On other days I viewed my children behavior management specialist as a failure as I struggled to manage my children and had to dole out multiple punishments for behavior I viewed as poor. On these days I was often disappointed with the behavior of my children and they are disappointed with my own behavior. From my perspective my children were acting poorly when in reality they were acting no different from any other day and it was my condition which was changing perspectives. On these days I may have had difficulty at work, felt under the weather or even did not sleep well the night before. Fobler would note that my negative outlook helped to contribute to the perspective I had of children misbehaving.
And that is totally OK! After all, we parents are humans, not robots. Conveying your humanness is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children!
However, many parents may think that being consistent will lead to the desired solution. I'm afraid nothing is further from the truth. In fact, being consistent is simply impossible, as I have proven by the description above. There is no doubt that my needs as a human being change from day to day. If I need to be consistent, I will also have to be untruthful since I need to neglect my own feelings and behave according to the consistent rules, instead of behave according to my true feelings and needs.
Many parents think that behaving inconsistently will lead to confusion. Fortunately, this is not true at all. If you verbalize your true feelings and needs regardless the circumstances, children will learn that you are a human being with feelings and needs and this elicits empathy and a caring overall attitude towards others.
On the other hand, if you choose to stick to the rules no matter what, children will learn what your rules are, but if they will behave accordingly? If you want to be a police officer all the time, I guess this may be a great option.
